![]() ![]() Many find it helpful to share emotions on our discussion forums safely and privately among others who understand.Īs an LGBT+ person experiencing ectopic pregnancy, there may be a mixture of emotions that surface from not only the diagnosis itself but also combining what you have been through already in your journey. It can take time to realise that these feelings are normal and you are grieving for the pregnancy that you have lost. These emotions are not a reflection on you as a person they are as a result of the intense and heart-breaking situation that you have experienced. Anger, guilt, hatred, loathing, and a sense that it is just not fair are all common and understandable. It is unexpected and unlike their “normal” selves. People who are recovering from ectopic pregnancy often feel shocked at these reactions. While being happy for others, we are also grieving the loss of what we do not have and seeing others’ pregnancies is a stark reminder of what could have been for ourselves. These reactions do not mean that you are a “bad” or “unkind” person. This is usually coupled with wanting to avoid them and guilt for thinking this. Some people may experience grief after an ectopic pregnancy many years after the event, perhaps triggered by a different loss.ĭiscomfort and jealousy around other pregnant women or when a friend announces they are pregnant is something that we often hear about. However, denying the feelings is hard on the body and mind and it is important to recognise and start to process them. There may be a temptation to avoid them and “move on” with life. ![]() Having many strong feelings at different times can be exhausting and not easy to make sense. You may be able to notice some of the aspects described or perhaps not be able to name anything of what you are feeling right now whatsoever. They can give you the vocabulary identify what you are feeling. ![]() ![]() Instead, these ideas may be helpful as a tool to assist your understanding of yourself and your thoughts and reactions. Please do bear in mind that these are summaries of wider books and papers and often feelings cannot be reduced to a simple list. Stroebe and Schut suggest most people will move back and forth between loss-oriented and restoration-oriented activities. Restoration-oriented activities include adapting to what has happened. Loss-oriented activities are those that relate to the loss and include experiencing sadness, denial or anger and dwelling on what has happened. Also, some people may experience only a few of the stages while others may not experience any of them.Īnother grief model is Margaret Stroebe and Hank Schut’s dual-process model which identifies two processes: loss-oriented activities and restoration-oriented activities. These stages are not a step-by-step process for grief, but instead are a combination of different thoughts and emotions at various times and intensities. This is typically a calm phase with stable condition of emotions. Acceptance – The person accepts the reality of the loss and new future. Bargaining – Next the grieving person may make bargains e.g., asking, “If I do this, will you take away the loss?”Ĥ. Anger – We may then be furious at the person who inflicted the hurt (even if they are dead), at the world for letting it happen, or with ourselves for letting the event take place, even if, realistically, nothing could have stopped it.ģ. We may think that the diagnosis is mistaken and cling to a false preferable alternative.Ģ. Denial – At first, we tend to deny the loss has taken place and withdraw from the reality of what is happening. It is important to remember that this is one set of ideas, that grief is an individual process, and is not a linear process.ġ. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross suggests that there are five stages of grief following loss. With grief, it is common to have many other feelings such as sorrow, anger, loneliness, sadness, shame, anxiety, and guilt.ĭr. Some might find grief can surface later or be triggered by another event. Grief is a very normal emotion after loss particularly in the early days and weeks and, although difficult to experience, is part of the healing process. You may have been through a traumatic experience and it is natural to feel grief. There can also be feelings of grief where a Fallopian tube has been removed and perhaps a sense of loss with the possible impact on fertility. You have lost your pregnancy in a sudden and distressing way so it is natural to feel grief. ![]()
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